This is a 5 minute read.
I am a fear junkie. I used to run and hide at the feeling of fear.
Fear of never falling in love, fear of not belonging and fear of not being good enough.
Now ALL I fear is – fear itself. Fear is more crippling to me than Cancer.
There was always something to be scared of that I could use as an excuse, to get out of trying something different. Fear is the fuel of procrastination, distraction not falling in love and a host of other hits that you may have experienced. Fear is the emotion that bullies, victims and narcissists eat for breakfast.
Fear is what other people might be feeling about your diagnosis (which is more about them than you), and they push that shit on you.
To be fair, when I got cancer I had already done a bit of work on myself (my ongoing research into coaching psychology and my yoga practice are at the foundation of my growth). I have flirted with seven adversities and in each of them I have grown a little bit more. Cancer has been the icing on my personal growth cake.
I am not really into fighting much. Fighting what you can’t control is exhausting. Fighting also means there is going to be retaliation. The retaliation when you fight fear may end in procrastination. Not taking action and distracting from making the change.
You can face fear every day. Look it in the eye and talk about doing something about it – and never actually do anything. So facing it is great ‘n all, but you still aren’t getting into the guts of it.
FLIRTING WITH FEAR
Sometimes it’s the playfulness and the giggling. And sometimes it’s the intelligent conversation that lasts a full nine hours. (That was my first date with Effy, my partner). And sometimes it’s the carefully selected words or blurting of how you feel.
Getting playful and tempting fear, teasing it, is going to spark a new way to address old problems that have stopped you from becoming the person you want to be.
You didn’t get a choice with cancer. It is in your face, and there is nothing you can do about it except start doing things differently. How you move your body, how you build relationships, the food you consume, how you accept what is. How you approach each day, how to communicate with the people you love, your friends and the medical team caring for you.
The question is what are you most scared of about cancer? And let’s focus on something we can control.
I was most scared of losing myself in the whole kerfuffle and not taking advantage of every lesson that cancer had to teach me. Exploring and flirting deeper into my personal growth and leadership ability. Cancer Confidence is a result of that fear.
So get in the face of fear and flirt with it so that you can bring some joy to the people around you. Focus on what you want to get out of cancer. There is a whole world of amazing that comes from cancer.
Or are you too scared to see it?